Monday, July 21, 2008


Why do we seek relationships with others? Too often, we find ourselves seeking out a relationship to fulfill something that we feel is missing. And, when we are without a relationship we find ourselves depressed or feeling as if we are lacking something.

What that means is that we are using another person as a source for our happiness. When you do that, it means that your happiness is not from within. Then your happiness only comes about if someone else pushes it into being, they start it for you. Therefore, happiness doesn't exist without the other.

The key is to be happy by your own nature. Then relationships become a means for you to express your happiness...not to seek happiness. If you form a relationship because you are seeking to squeeze happiness from somebody else and at the same time that person is trying to squeeze happiness from you, after a while it will naturally become a painful experience.

But, if your life becomes an expression of internal joy and not in pursuit of happiness through others, then any relationship you have will be naturally wonderful and joyous. Then this whole idea of trying to fulfill someone else's expectations doesn't arise or become a wedge that destroys the connection between two people.

The goal is to be an expression of joy. Don't try to extract your joy from another being. Shift from the pursuit of happiness to an expression of joyfulness and watch how your relationships become transformed without effort or difficulty.

1 comment:

J Eric Miller said...

Ah-ha! A friendly face and always the good words! Glad to refind you blogging...